We went up to the roof of Page. It’s only a two story building but it was sufficient.

I was the first one to see the shooting stars. And the one who saw the most. Am proud.

I knew how meteor showers are. It is by no means dramatic. With the Pasadena smog, I doubted if we could see any.

It was fast. It was sleek. It was cold. It was a white line drawn across the dark night. It split open the sky blanket. Showing for a split second what the other side is like. Before the sky blanket mended itself back again.

We went up at almost 11pm. After a few minutes of waiting, two soared across. I saw the first and everyone saw the second. Then every few minutes or so, there would be one. But sometimes, too faint to be noticeable.

When I was little, I imagined the stars to have hooks. They hook onto the dark sky blanket and that’s how they don’t fall. When they do, they tear the blanket.

Because it got so cold, we left at 12 for more provisions. At 1, we climbed back again.  This time, with towels and layers of jackets (I had three). We stay from 1 to 2. During that time, we saw a few. There were two that were really bright and fairly slow. They must have hooked onto the blanket too tight.

I wish I could have a picture. But there’s no way my pocket canon can capture something like this.

It would be really nice if we could see more stars. But the waning moon and the light pollution from down under made it impossible.

I lost count of how many I saw. Nine. Or maybe more. It was awe-some.

him: Your mom.

me: But you are too skinny for my mom.

others: *laughs* Oh! Owned!

Rebecca: I’m so proud of Juying.

me: Me too.

———-

Here’s a little something for y’alls,

Hhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRVFfgoIKcg

To me, Nanjing is my root.

南京，我的根。

I love everything about the city, the good and the bad. Someone once pointed out that Nanjing is a fail city, because it used to be the capital of China and now it is falling behind in terms of everything. On some news website, Nanjing was ranked as the second most 失落城市, after 西安. In that essence, it is fail. But that’s the beauty of it. Its glorious and chaotic past. Its tranquil and wanting present. Its uncertain future, filled with endless possibilities. And its stories, countless, lost, and unspeakable.

BGo’s funeral took place in his hometown, somewhere in the East Coast. Jackson’s took place here, because Hong Kong is too far away. If something were to happen, where would I have my funeral. Not Nanjing, definitely. It just wouldn’t be practical, especially when I don’t even have relatives there at all. Then, that eliminates China. Windsor? That is a possibility. After all, we still have a house there. But I never considered  Windsor as home. Not since moving to Chicago. But nor did I consider Chicago as home. When I moved there, I knew that I’ll be somewhere else in two years. Pasadena. If it were to happen while I’m in Caltech, then most likely, I’ll be buried here. I’ll be like Jackson. Laid to rot under the California sun.

My mom told me a couple times that when she leaves, she wants her ashes thrown into the river that she lived by as a kid. In her hometown. I’ve never been there. I imagined it as a place fresh, green, and sparkling. (given the current polluted environment in China, I doubt it will be fresh or sparkling. It’ll be green alright. The foolish official would have the bare rocks painted green. 一切为了绿化嘛。)

I think I’ll be fine to be buried wherever I died. It always had an almost romantic notion to me. In fact, I don’t even know if I actually prefer to lie in Nanjing. Would I still love it as I do now if I were to go back ten years from now? If I were to live there again? If I were to live there forever?

毕竟，距离产生美。

We always want what we cannot have.

This is from xiaonei,

曾经拥有的，不要忘记。
不能得到的，更要珍惜。
属于自己的，不要放弃。
已经失去的，留作回忆。

南京，既然已经在不知不觉中失去你了，我将永记你的巷尾街头，珍惜我那曾经与你在一起的每分每刻，我童年的回忆与你藕断丝连。但愿我们今后还有缘相见。

不过这一切只不过是我自己的自作多情。

Whenever I think about blogging, I hit my writer’s block. What is there to write about? Nothing interesting’s really happened….it’s always the usual, you know, evaporating gold acetate, which is what I’m doing right now. I hope something will grow.

Cooking is actually a lot of work, especially when you have to do it every night. I now have a new-found respect for my mom. She has to come home everyday to cook and feed all of us. I guess, in a way, I’m glad that I’m not going off campus next year. I always say next year, but I only mean when school starts again (this sounds like high school….) which is at the end of september. When September ends~~~~~

Anyways, going off campus would save my quite a lot of money per year ( probably more than one thousand). But that means I have to cook everyday, which could be hard. I wonder how those two will survive. Whatever, not my problem.

Gah. Low on battery!

You know, I should make a new category for whatever I’m doing in lab….hmm.

Maybe some other time. Too lazy to.

I have to stop yawning!

4 o’clock is cookies and coffee time. Free cookies and coffee.

You know, when you are at an enough distance away from someone, you don’t see the selfishness, prejudice, hypocrisy, and all other ugliness as much. When you do, it’s understandable. It’s human nature. It’s something you don’t have to deal with, because you are far away enough. Those two will learn next year. I’m glad I can run away from it.

In the end, people are only perfect when they are dead.

Anyhoo, new theme!! Tada~~

I specifically picked a green one, you know, for spring. Oh wait, it’s summer already. Uh. That works too.

Sometimes, I wonder. Why are we here. What are we doing here. Why are we doing this. What’s the meaning of this. Then I realize, I’m asking for some kind of meaning in my life. To have a purpose. I suppose I can set a goal, like, get a Nobel prize or make a fuck ton of money. But that is all defined by humans. Humans created money, and set the notion of fame. Those things have no meaning. The other choice would be what nature gave us. To propagate. Prolong our genes. Viruses are especially good at this and they don’t even think. So in human world, that means to make enough money so that you can raise a well-educated, well-mannered kid. That way, the kid will make money to do the same for his/her kid, and so on.

I guess, when you put it like that, life has no meaning. You just go through with it. That’s probably why they took their lives. When I heard about the news, I asked why. Why. Why. Why. How can you be so cruel to do this to your parents. What can possibly to so unbearable in your life that you have to take it away. They are  both from well-to-do families. Not broken either. They have siblings. They are doing well in terms of grades. There are so many other people in this world who would do anything to have what you have. They still live on. Why can’t you.

Then, sometimes I think, if being alive can hurt this much. Then, perhaps it’s better to let go. It’s better to let go than to hang on needlessly and shamelessly. But you have parents and family – they need you. And you have the whole world in front of you. It’s not shameless or shameful to hang on.

Ploy says that she lives for her parents. Once she gets her own kids, she’ll probably live for them. As much as I don’t want to admit, I’ll probably end up the same. It’s a happy cycle.

After death, you gain infinite knowledge. Then you choose a life to live in in one of all the different possible worlds. In exchange, you lose the knowledge, until you die again. Then, I wish they will be able to choose a longer life. A more fulfilling one.

Been in lab everyday, and waiting for gold acetate to evaporate. They say that the stuff in the furnace is carcinogenic, what about when it is heated up? Does that stuff evaporate and go into the air…..? Hmmm.

I thought that I would have more time in the summer. But noooooooo~~ *yawns* Has to be in lab. Meh.

Oh, cooked some half-assed pho yesterday. Wasn’t too bad. Except the beef is way too cooked and too lean. Not enough fat to make it tasty.

Mario kart has been fun to play. If you don’t always end up last (which is what happens to me all the time).

Partly cloudy

(Testing in-post uploading.)

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password:

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password: