Innermost, a blog

yep. It’s actually showing some promising signs. Hopefully, something will grow…..after I put the catalysts on.

You know, I should make a new category for whatever I’m doing in lab….hmm.

Maybe some other time. Too lazy to.

I have to stop yawning!

4 o’clock is cookies and coffee time. Free cookies and coffee.

You know, when you are at an enough distance away from someone, you don’t see the selfishness, prejudice, hypocrisy, and all other ugliness as much. When you do, it’s understandable. It’s human nature. It’s something you don’t have to deal with, because you are far away enough. Those two will learn next year. I’m glad I can run away from it.

In the end, people are only perfect when they are dead.

This time, at 400C. Ha, take that, gold acetate!

Anyhoo, new theme!! Tada~~

I specifically picked a green one, you know, for spring. Oh wait, it’s summer already. Uh. That works too.

Sometimes, I wonder. Why are we here. What are we doing here. Why are we doing this. What’s the meaning of this. Then I realize, I’m asking for some kind of meaning in my life. To have a purpose. I suppose I can set a goal, like, get a Nobel prize or make a fuck ton of money. But that is all defined by humans. Humans created money, and set the notion of fame. Those things have no meaning. The other choice would be what nature gave us. To propagate. Prolong our genes. Viruses are especially good at this and they don’t even think. So in human world, that means to make enough money so that you can raise a well-educated, well-mannered kid. That way, the kid will make money to do the same for his/her kid, and so on.

I guess, when you put it like that, life has no meaning. You just go through with it. That’s probably why they took their lives. When I heard about the news, I asked why. Why. Why. Why. How can you be so cruel to do this to your parents. What can possibly to so unbearable in your life that you have to take it away. They are  both from well-to-do families. Not broken either. They have siblings. They are doing well in terms of grades. There are so many other people in this world who would do anything to have what you have. They still live on. Why can’t you.

Then, sometimes I think, if being alive can hurt this much. Then, perhaps it’s better to let go. It’s better to let go than to hang on needlessly and shamelessly. But you have parents and family – they need you. And you have the whole world in front of you. It’s not shameless or shameful to hang on.

Ploy says that she lives for her parents. Once she gets her own kids, she’ll probably live for them. As much as I don’t want to admit, I’ll probably end up the same. It’s a happy cycle.

After death, you gain infinite knowledge. Then you choose a life to live in in one of all the different possible worlds. In exchange, you lose the knowledge, until you die again. Then, I wish they will be able to choose a longer life. A more fulfilling one.

So, I’m bored.

Been in lab everyday, and waiting for gold acetate to evaporate. They say that the stuff in the furnace is carcinogenic, what about when it is heated up? Does that stuff evaporate and go into the air…..? Hmmm.

I thought that I would have more time in the summer. But noooooooo~~ *yawns* Has to be in lab. Meh.

Oh, cooked some half-assed pho yesterday. Wasn’t too bad. Except the beef is way too cooked and too lean. Not enough fat to make it tasty.

Mario kart has been fun to play. If you don’t always end up last (which is what happens to me all the time).

Ottawa, Ontario: 20C

Partly cloudy

(Testing in-post uploading.)